If This Isn't Love, What Could This Be...?

A weird and confusing thing that happened to...and now I'm actually laughing when I remember it...LOL!


(written last weekend)

If This Isn't Love, What Could This Be...?

If you're single and you sleep with a friend (single), that is okay... - Mo Twister (Killer Bee DJ)

However, if you sleep with a friend and you're not sure where it's heading, is that still okay???

This is the question that has been bothering me for a week now. Maybe because I wasn't able to ask...because I don't like our friendship to shatter...

Honestly, there are lots of questions bothering me, but I could not prioritize one...

What is between us?

Will this even work out?

Should there something to work out?

...and so much more that I couldn't even put them in a good structured question!

I just need some assurance...so that the pain won't strengthen and dominate my soul.

Because I think I already showed you that I want to have a relationship with you (I effin' don't know why so don't bother asking)...probably even showed you more.

Maybe because...it was unique and overwhelming...

So, if you really want/need/like me, just say it. Don't throw my questions back at me.
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Confrontation via text:

'There was nothing between us'...and it was too late. My heart was broken bad...real bad...

...let's just say it was a worthwhile experience. 'Good times' as most people say...because I learned and realized from it.
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The meet-up:

I'm the kind of person that needs closure every time something goes wrong, especially that time because I had work and I know I'd look stupid at work if I don't fix this.

A good conversation and explanation is all i need.

...so we met up...and talked...

I just wanted to know few stuff. I saw some flaws with the explanation, but I didn't bother to rebut, rather I tried to understand because there was no point.

We know it was not going to work out, especially now I just knew that there was someone else.

The end of our conversation was to be good friends...
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Insight:

At work, I realized how stupid I was because I easily gave my trust to you, but I had my reasons...

I know that too much of everything is not good, especially trust...but I was so sure in giving my trust on you (if you want to ask why, ask me personally).
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Reaction:

You said it yourself that you were once a counselor (to help people), but what you are doing is not a 'good way'. There are a lot of ways how to help people, and what you are doing isn't one of them.

What you are doing might affect you in the long run. I tell you, you're not the only counselor here buddy (just an FYI).

Yet still, I'm aware of my flaws, everyone has one. That's why we learn through experience.
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Now, I just texted a good friend (and a good friend of yours too) and we're okay now. Hopefully, we can talk soon.

The only concern that I'm facing right now is...you said you want us to be good friends, but why do I feel that you're turning your back on me.

Are you...?

You don't even text or reply...how can we be good friends then...?

If you're concern is that I might feel the same thing as before, don't worry... I learned...and that I'm SURE.